Sunday, May 18, 2008

On Giving

I have never considered my work, work, 'til this day. I am tired. Until this day, I never had difficulty waking up early in the morning. When everyone is enjoying their summer, trying to catch up on the sleep they have missed out, I am cheerfully waking up early, dawn after dawn. I've always considered the new morn a blessing and a chance to help one more soul, one more person who needs help. My philosophy has always been that help is always around, all one has to do is ask. So, as long as I can give the help, i'll give it, with cheerful mood.
Sometimes, life can be cruel. But I take it. I take with a big heart. Bring it on bitches! I may be ridiculed, I may be cautioned but I'll never be stopped. Oddly so, I feel tired. Stressed out. Life is indeed a box full of chocolates. You never know what you will get. But it no longer matters. It must never matter. But that's until today.
I feel the urge to no longer give a damn, not one bit. Bahala na, the famous Filipino saying goes. I wanna be free.
But what does this mean? Giving up on the one thing I so believe in? I am not asking for anything grand, anything in silver and gold.
All I am asking is we all enjoy the sunset for the sunset that it is. The full moon that it is, sans embellishments, just the full moon hanging in the dark blue sky.
It is futile. Futile to try to please everyone. That is true. But that won't stop me from trying.
This world will never be the world that we want this to be. Never. I don't have to tell you why.
Because we don't wallow in the why, we move on. We no longer search for answers, we become the answers.
We may fail others, but knowing that we try our damn best, all we could ever say is, it sucks to be them.
I know I should not have said those words. But that's the whole point of it all. We say what we need to say and never regret it. Because at that instant, that's what I wanted to say, that's what I needed to say.
I guess, what's left to say is this.
Do what you think is right. But the moment you mess with my brown ass, your dark butt crack might just be the only thing that will be served to you every morning, every noon and every night!
That was uncalled for. But like I said, that's what I needed to say at that moment. And nothing, I mean nothing, would have changed that.
Now that that is out of my system, I'll be ok. I am ok. I am good! Ready to take on the world and I have never felt better!

1 comment:

gNis said...

miss u kurary!!! :D

walang kakupas-kupas!