Thank you

I was watching the video streaming of UPLB's graduation ceremonies last Saturday. I saw a number of familiar faces receiving their diplomas in their togas, shaking the hands of the Chancellor and all. For a while there, I was excited. Probably because I miss UPLB, a lot. I miss my friends there. Then it hit me. A sudden pang of both desire and remorse. Desire because I wanted to be there, not as a member of the audience, but as part of the graduating class. Remorse because, I was not able to finish my thesis, my lone ticket to receiving that Master's degree I so desire. I wanted my net connection to lag if not be disconnected at once. But it didn't happen. And so I sat through it. Everyone was requested to stand up for UP Naming Mahal. I remember my undergrad graduation (April 26, 2001), the one time I sung the UP Naming Mahal with much fervor and emotion.
The fireworks that was displayed was spectacular! The traditional rally which used to be the highlight was overshadowed by the fireworks display, lighting in different colors and forms the dark, dark sky.
I think what happened next was nothing short of a cleenex moment. I had to get out, I had to do something. I went to Chinito's Camins where we usually have our fellowship. Interestingly enough, I was not in the mood for a drink. I was just there for like 30 minutes. We transferred to Catribo and sat comfortably at UL's. Still I wasn't in the mood for any drink.
I was searching for something I didn't know what.
Then there you were, in your black Adidas jacket, a pair of denim shorts and slippers. That was all I needed. You were all I needed to see to be comforted. You didn't even have to say anything. You didn't even have to see me.
I was suddenly craving for beer, had a pitcher of four seasons gin and two shots of margarita blue and a bottle of San Mig Light.
I went home, contented, feeling light but not wobbly.
I got inside my room. Turned off the lights, lied down on my bed and whispered, "thank you."

The PHILIPPINES

It was all over the news. Director Dante Mendoza's "Serbis" made it in the list of nominees in the Palme d'Or of the Cannes Film Festival. Being the news savvy that I am, I searched the web for additional information. I checked out the official website of the Cannes but I found nothing. So I googled it instead. There were a number of hits. Checking the results one by one (excluding those from Philippine pages), there was no mention of "Serbis." Not giving up, one entry aroused my interest. It reads "Cannes Film Festival snubs British movies for the second year running." And there I found this: Eight of the directors on the 19-strong shortlist have never appeared in Cannes' main competition before and hail from Belgium, Turkey, France, China, Argentina, the Philippines, Brazil and Italy. I always love reading this. Every time an article has to refer to the Philippines, there's the. Of course that's not to mean anything special, it's only the English language's being queer. But nonetheless, I love it. I love the Philippines.
We may be a small country, but we are a great one too. We may have looked stupid in the eyes of the world, what with the US health insurance scam (the latest among the many scandals that involved the Philippines), we must never forget the more important things that we have taught the world. We are after all, Asia's first democratic country. But I don't have to mention that we still need a lot of work to make democracy work in the grass roots rather just in the halls of Congress (even in Congress, the light of democracy has never been dimmer, almost put out) and articles such as this. We must never forget how we, as one nation, taught the world how to bloodlessly oust a dictator. And I know, in the near future we are going to teach the world that we can stand as one nation in making the Philippines a greater nation.
We must never forget Paeng's right arm. There's Manny Pacquiao's too. Both his left and right fists.
We must of course never forget the many Filipinos who have sacrificed family to be able to work abroad. This is no easy feat, and for that, I commend all of you. They are, after all, helping the economy keep afloat with their monthly remittances reaching record highs month after month.
Let us also not forget those who have decided to stay. They, too, are heroes. Seeing that the battle has to be fought here and not anywhere else is as well not an easy feat. Never mind those who have stayed to spread mayhem and chaos (read: politicians). One has to just look at the jeepney driver who tirelessly brings us to our workplace morning after morning. Our metro aids who put to heart the care of our streets, dawn after dawn.
The list is a very long one. But I will not end this without mentioning and giving the importance that they have long deserved, our farmers. They have long been ignored by government. They have long been sidelined by the autocrats who think they are gods and us, their slaves! I hope, the Republic that is the Philippines will not have to pay for this.
They say there is a rice crisis. There might be truth to that though quite a number argue otherwise. But one has to just look at the rising price of rice to know that there is something wrong and that we need to act, now.
Serbis, by the way, is a movie about a family that maintains a prostitution den to get by.
I pray to dear God, that the administration will see reason in ceasing to pimp the country, my beloved country, to capitalists that selfishly see profit only.

Cold

Last weekend was a lazy one for me. For starters, I was down with a terrible flu! But that did not stop me from cleaning the kitchen. Exhausted, I decided to relax. I asked my mom for chicken soup and settled comfortably on the couch. First up was Juno. It was my fourth. And it still made me cry. I know, it's not a tear jerker. But borrowing Brenda's (Juno's step mom) words, I am not made of stone. I finsihed the bowl of chicken soup and was ready for the next one in the list, Click. And I don't have to say it still made me cry even if it was my 6th. I stopped liking Jennifer Aniston after she and Brad called it quits. But my sister wanted to see the Break Up. She, Jennifer, dated Vince Vaughn right? And eventually broke up with him. Oh Jennifer! Don't worry, she did not make me cry. But Garry did! I wish someone make me dinner and say that he loves me, dearly. And into a deep slumber I fell. I didn't want to make my bed when I woke up. Didn't feel like waking up. I felt like the whole world was on my shoulders. But I could not close my eyes either. So I helped my self with toast and some reheated chicken soup. Then another DVD caught my ever watchful eyes. There was Another Gay Movie, Dead or Alive, Fly Boys, Accepted and Krrish (thanks to my friendly pirate neighbor). I gave Accepted a try and I liked it. I remember the day when I got accpetance letters from the schools I applied in. And that was like a gazillion years ago! I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if not one college accepted me. I guess I was one lucky bitch. :) I was hesitant to watch Krrish. I haven't heard of it. My hunch turned out to be right. It's an Indian movie. I've read that Indian movies always have song and dance numbers between scenes. So I picture early 90's Filipino movies. At first it was funny. You see, Krishna had a rock hard chiseled body, think Matthew McConaughey, er, Sylvester Stallone. Then I got the hang of it. And for one moment there, kinilig ako! The movie starred Hrithik Roshan (I googled him and he has made over 20 movies) and he's got wonderful eyes! Just imagine (lol). Then it rained. It rained and it's summer! I suddenly realized, I was with flu, it's raining, summer classes are to start tomorrow and I have a 7:30! Just imagine (lol), a 7:30 for summer! It sucks to be me, bigs time!
I slept early last night, right after PBB. I woke up at around 5:30, still feeling heavy. It was cold. And you, you were just staring at me blankly. I said hello and not one smile from you. It made me feel colder. You, with your almost blue sclera, almost yellow skin. Your jaw almost square. Traces of pimple scars on both your cheeks. And your hair, your unkempt hair. I wanted you to smile, I needed you to smile back. One little grin.
Nada. Just that cold stare, blank and cold.
*Sniff*

As often as I could

And by "as often as I could" I dont mean every five minutes... Corny, I know. It sucks to be me!

AdSense

I recently checked my AdSense account (read: 10 seconds ago). Of course, I did not expect to see over a hundred dollars there. I also did not expect these words from my friend: "Huh? Chene gale kien tan visit di tu yu blog???" OUch, bigs time (Marvs, borrow ha)! Anyway, I am back! And I intend to update this as often as I could! :)