Four Days

I gave Manong tricycle driver 40 pesos for my fare. That was a very quiet, and chaotic ride at the same time. He dropped me at Valderoza Street near the CAP building.

I walked a few meters towards where we were to meet. One leg was hesitant, the other more hesitant. One part of me was telling, more like ordering me, to just go back home. This other part, this annoying other part, was telling to see this one through. But I already decided to see this one through the moment I alighted from the tricycle. All there was left to do was to force those legs to go take those steps.

I suddenly felt the world was turning around me. I felt pressure going up through my head and I started seeing black spots. I took a pause, took a deep breath. My legs were shaking.

Surprisingly, I found myself peering, quite nervously, through the glass doors of the restaurant. I was relieved. I saw no familiar faces.

There was a couple, to my right, browsing the menu and a rather stocky crew waiting for their orders. The woman was probably in her early 30s, the guy, I was not so sure of. His back was facing me. She was wearing a white collared top, sleeveless with raffles outlined around the pearl button line from her neck to her chest.

"I'm here. Turn to your left," read the message from him.

It was loudest pound I've ever felt in my entire life. Pictures of him whispering in my ear, his left hand holding mine, leading it gently to the headboard kept flashing. Before I could hear what he was trying to say, I was back to my self, turned left and walked to him.

There was a glass of iced tea. A teapot and the smell of Twining's four red fruits. He stood up, walked to the chair opposite his and pulled it out for me. There was something in his smile. It was heavy, almost sad. "Hi, he--llo," he stuttered. I sat and he went back to his seat.

Before he could say anything, "Steve, this has got to stop. Your wedding is in four days. I can't have this right now, not anymore."

"Exactly, my wedding is in four days and I can't stop thinking that I am going to make this big mistake."

"You've dreamed for that day to come. She loves you and you adore her. And this is going to be the envy of the stars, remember?"

"After what happened last night, I knew seeing this through is going to be the biggest mistake that I'll ever do, and I can't make that mistake. I won't. I won't make us miserable for the ..."

"What happened last night, that was the mistake Steve. What happened ..." I froze, I just froze, literally.

"I will never hurt you." He whispered. His left hand was still holding mine. Both rested on the headboard.

I was myself again.

He was looking intently at me, as if he saw what just flashed before me. It was as though he heard himself whisper those words.