Low

I have done stupid things in my life. But what I did last night tops all of them. It was disgusting. It was bordering on psychosis. I was so damn stupid. Bien tanga! gago!

On Wet, Cold Saturday Mornings and Cory Aquino

I had a hard time getting out of my bed this morning. It's been raining for hours already. It's cold, not the devilish kind, but the kind that makes you want to not get out of bed and just lie down there and dream. I wanted to fall asleep. And dream of you. I haven't seen for almost two months now. I can't say if you are avoiding me. You said you're just busy. I can take that lie. I seem to have been feeding on those lately, your lies. Lie to me, one more time. Lie to me, and tell me you miss me too.

The dream never came and it's getting late, one peek outside the window, tells me that the truth is cold, and that when the rain falls gently, it's going to be a while before the chilling pain goes away.

I got out bed, brushed my teeth, washed my face and logged on to Inquirer.net. I got intrigued by this news which read "Cory Aquino: Use People Power to fight poverty." Then I was fuming. For a while there I wanted all her yellow clothes to change to the rust colored kind. You see, I never liked her.

Yes, why not use people power? Use the power of the people to fight poverty. When the two people power revolutions were staged, there was a ridiculously great amount of money involved. Businessmen, mostly, did not bother to pour in money just to have a corrupt and evil administration toppled, in a bloodless revolution.

Why do we find it hard to the same in fighting poverty when it is very easy for us to go to the streets and point fingers at the wrongs of an administration who might just have been trying its best to solve the gargantuan problems of this seemingly small country? I don't want to go into telling you that it's because of personal interest. That helping out in toppling down an administration is an investment.

I pity my fellow Filipinos who, in all fervor and patriotism, just want a peaceful and corrupt-less nation (myself included). I feel used. I feel betrayed.

The rain has not stopped yet. It is still cold. I am going to take a bath now. And it will be cold.

The rain gently falls. Slowly. Telling me it's going to be a while before the chilling pain goes away.

On Ben Chan, "I am Ninoy" and de Quiros

Ben Chan was the player in this afternoon's episode of Deal or No Deal. When down to the last two cases and with PhP150,279 offer from the banker, he opted to go for his case, briefcase number 5. This number has always brought him luck said Kris. With this, he was standing to lose the offer and bring home 10 pesos or lose the offer and donate 300,000 to a charity. He promised to give the charity the 300,000 if his case turns out to be 10 pesos. The number 5 must have been very lucky for him as it contained the 300,000 (and you hear Kris shriek!). As if he cared, he is freakin' Ben Chan.

Kris asked for this black shirt, one of the "I am Ninoy" shirts. She thanked Ben for makin' them and making her mother, Cory Aquino, very happy. The shirt is available in all Bench outlets and in all sizes.

Last week, the country remembered the heroism of Ninoy, his assassination's 25th Anniversary. To this day, those sentenced to be imprisoned for life, the supposed culprits in the assassination, deny ever having been involved in that monstrosity.

On December 30, 2003, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo pledged not to run in the 2004 presidential elections. There must have been sincerity in that, she made it on Rizal Day. Almost everyone praised her. The many projects that she started to pay attention to were no longer considered as campaigning for the next elections.

Suddenly, she filed her candidacy. That's when de Quiros lost faith in her. It's as if, the only glorious thing about her was her name. It no longer mattered that she was daughter of a former President of the Republic. She was devil incarnate to de Quiros.

That's also when I stopped reading de Quiros. Almost all his articles were about how evil PGMA has become. You see, I've always loved de Quiros. He used to be the only reason why I read the Inquirer.

Then he wrote this.

Hindi ka nag-iisa. What has made this country a little less bereaved by August 21 is that it dwells too much on a particular martyrdom to the exclusion of all else, turning it as well into a conceit, wrote de Quiros. Very well said. I think it is important to remember that it wasn't only Ninoy who was assassinated. It wasn't only Ninoy who shed blood. It wasn't only Cory who lost a husband. It is important to remember that it was the nation's sacrifice. They were in the hundereds, thousands even. They were nameless and faceless, and they remain to be in the eyes of the Filipinos to this very day.

De Quiros concluded his article with this: "I wonder when we’ll ever make August 21 a little more meaningful by adding that dimension to it. True enough, Ninoy, Sin and Cory were, and are, heroes. But hindi sila nag-iisa. There were, there are, more.

A lot, lot more."

And that's probably the reason why we have the National Heroes' Day. That's today, by the way.